Insomnia
so much work
no time to eat
need to sleep

I want to quit painting again, I'm not good enough for any predetermined standard.
need to focus, need to figure out what it is exactly what I want to do because this is just not worth it.
losing my mind
why can't I sleep?
I'm sure I make no sense whatsoever
It's either me that's going too fast or me not being able to follow the world. I'm either right or the world is. but there seems to be nothing at all to separate these extremes.

There is no way that I can ever have a simple, normal casual conversation with people.
I can't not care
why is liking paint not serious enough?
my body feels like it's sleeping but I'm still awake, mindfuck

the world doesn't make sense and there is nothing that will ever explain it. horrible enough to not want to even try having a life
Art makes even less sense and in a way, art is about all my life is about. ( that and Korean boys <3 )
Art is everything and even more nothing. Art is nothing but a word and one doesn't even have to be able to paint anymore, oh the horrors I've seen...

confused little puppy is scared of the big bad world
haha no
I want to be good at what I do before I decide on wanting to become an artist or not

for now, I need to draw more and paint less, not that I have been painting much decent stuff anyway, nothing will be missed
drawing uses less energy than painting

and nothing of value will be lost when I die
goodnight