I will burn everything I painted and throw away all my paint/brushes/canvas so I could never paint again.
I can't seem to get it right. It's frustrating how easy my drawings are and how badly I suck at painting. I've been obsessing about painting for 2 years and it is still so awful!
I should spare myself, stop painting and focus on my drawings because that is something I could get good enough to not get depressed over it all the time.

Painting is a torture while drawing is my second nature.
this has nothing to do with never being satisfied because that never really happens with my drawings either. It's not the size, it's not what I make, it's purely the act of painting that I know I will never master. There is something in my head that just won't allow it.
I can mix colors, make interesting textures, I can do compositions and stuff, I can do it all (more or less) but no matter how much I try to get better at these things, the real problem won't get fixed.
No one can teach me, I can't teach myself, it's just something that I clearly miss and there is nothing that can be done about it

This really is the end of the world.
This pit really has a bottom and I'm about to crash